The first week of a new year invites reflection.
We reset routines. We make resolutions. We look at what’s working—and what isn’t—and quietly ask ourselves how to do better.
But what if one of the most important resets for 2026 isn’t about doing more for our children…
but about doing less of the wrong thing?
In a widely discussed talk on education and mental health, moral psychologist Jonathan Haidt offers a powerful lens for understanding what’s happening not only on college campuses—but much earlier, in childhood, parenting, and school culture.
His central claim is simple and uncomfortable:
When we build childhood around the idea that kids are fragile, we unintentionally make them more fragile.
And when we build schools around emotional protection instead of intellectual courage, we weaken the very capacities young people need to thrive.
As we begin a new year, this is a moment worth pausing—and rethinking.
What is school actually for?
Haidt begins with an ancient Greek concept: telos—the purpose of a thing.
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The purpose of a knife is to cut.
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The purpose of a doctor is to heal.
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The purpose of a university—at least in the Western tradition—is the pursuit of truth.
Truth is not always comfortable. It requires disagreement, debate, and the willingness to encounter ideas we don’t yet understand.
Yet beginning around 2014, a noticeable shift occurred across American campuses. Students increasingly asked for protection—not primarily from physical danger, but from ideas, words, and discomfort. Safe spaces, trigger warnings, and speech restrictions multiplied.
Haidt argues this wasn’t random. It was driven by a new moral framework—one built on three deeply mistaken beliefs. He calls them the three “great untruths.”
The First Untruth: “What doesn’t kill you makes you weaker.”
This belief fuels overprotection.
It sounds compassionate, but it misunderstands human development.
Humans are not wine glasses. We are antifragile—a term coined by Nassim Taleb to describe systems that grow stronger when exposed to manageable stress.
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Bones strengthen under load.
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Immune systems strengthen through exposure.
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Confidence, judgment, and courage strengthen through experience.
When we remove healthy risk from childhood—unsupervised play, social conflict, independence—we don’t make kids safer. We make them less practiced at life.
One striking example is the generational shift in independence.
Older generations were commonly allowed to walk to a friend’s house or play outside unsupervised around age six. For many Gen Z children, that age shifted to ten, eleven, or later.
That change matters.
Because play without adults is where children learn how to:
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negotiate rules
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handle conflict
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assess risk
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recover from mistakes
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build real confidence
As Haidt puts it:
“Prepare the child for the road, not the road for the child.”
Not because the world is cruel—but because life requires strength.
The Second Untruth: “Always trust your feelings.”
Feelings are real. But they are not always accurate.
Haidt connects this untruth to the rise in anxiety and depression among young people. When discomfort is interpreted as danger, ordinary experiences—feedback, disagreement, awkwardness—begin to feel threatening.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), one of the most effective treatments for anxiety and depression, teaches the opposite approach: question your assumptions. Look for distorted thinking. Learn to respond rather than react.
Yet many school environments unintentionally reinforce emotional reasoning—the idea that if something feels bad, it must be bad.
The result is not greater emotional health, but less resilience.
As families reset expectations in January, a powerful question emerges:
Are we helping children become more capable of handling discomfort—or more dependent on the world changing for them?
The Third Untruth: “Life is a battle between good people and evil people.”
This belief divides the world into heroes and villains.
It feels morally satisfying—but it destroys conversation, curiosity, and learning.
Haidt reminds us of an older truth, captured beautifully by writer Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn:
“The line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being.”
When students are taught to see disagreement as moral threat, cultures of fear and silence emerge. People walk on eggshells. Ideas shrink. Growth stalls.
Healthy learning communities require something braver:
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intellectual humility
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forgiveness
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good-faith disagreement
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the courage to revise one’s view
This is not about being “nice.”
It’s about being honest, curious, and human.
What does this mean for 2026?
Haidt’s message is not despair—it’s direction.
Here’s what a healthier reset can look like this year:
Restore independence.
Choose one small freedom to return: walking to a friend’s house, managing a conflict, running a simple errand, navigating the world with guidance—not constant supervision.
Reclaim nights from screens.
Removing devices from bedrooms at a set time dramatically improves sleep, mood, and mental health.
Delay social media.
Especially in middle school, where comparison and social pressure hit hardest. Real-world relationships build resilience; digital ones often erode it.
Teach strong thinking, not just safe feelings.
Help children ask: What else could be true? What’s the evidence? What’s a brave next step?
Build schools where disagreement isn’t danger.
Learning requires friction. Growth requires courage.
The image to carry forward
Haidt offers two ways to see young people:
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As balloons filled with feelings in a world full of pins
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Or as fires that grow stronger when the wind blows
One worldview leads to avoidance.
The other leads to confidence.
As we begin 2026, this is the invitation:
Your child is not fragile.
They are the fire.
And when we trust them with real responsibility, challenge, and freedom, they rise to meet it.
Join Us This January
If you’re exploring educational options for 2026, we invite you to experience this philosophy in action.
Join our January Open House on January 27, 2026 5-6PM to learn how Acton Kennebunkport builds confident, independent learners—and to ask your questions in person.
👉 https://actonkennebunkport.org/go/info-session/register/
Prefer to start with the overview?
Download our Info Kit for a clear introduction to our model and what families can expect.
👉 https://actonkennebunkport.org/go/info/kit/
